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Welcome to hell. The current King of Hell goes by the name Madeline and is hella weird. 16~Ace/Panrom~F?

Red hula hoops of death

actual-levi:

pucchuu wants to type with me

poidkea:

feferi has no sympathy for your whiny ass but here’s some toast. that will keep you busy.

(my dad walks into a room where I am crying)
Dad: Aww, sweety. What's wrong?
Me (in between sobs): HOW DO I KNOW LOVE IS REAL WHEN ALL OF OUR SOCIAL RELATIONS ARE COMMODIFIED UNDER CAPITALISM?
Dad: um . . . . uh (pats back, bemused)

notapaladin:

mistressofpie:

A super girly and peppy blonde girl who wears bright pink dresses and skirts everyday is best friends with a quiet goth girl who of course sports all black clothing and big lace up boots. Someone jokes and yells to them “Hey look, a fairy and a vampire!” The blonde turns around and flashes a fanged grin and says “She’s human, actually.”

Someone give me this cartoon series.

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

dokiis:

Eren is the most convenient cleaning tool.

black-belt-in-origami:

real-faker:

virginmarx:

zebablah:

television history

i’ve been trying to explain this sketch to people for years

there is literally no way to explain this sketch it’s just a thing you have to see and even then I’m not sure why it’s so funny

this is art

1 week ago1,769,026 plays
darrenpillowscriss:

aesawinterfell:

yodropthechampagne:

i wrote a poem

whoa

I almost scrolled past this but it’s actually really fucking deep…

darrenpillowscriss:

aesawinterfell:

yodropthechampagne:

i wrote a poem

whoa

I almost scrolled past this but it’s actually really fucking deep…

Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse: "So he's your...."
Me: "Friend."
Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Me: "11."
Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me: "Uh. 0."
Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me: "With homosexuality."
Nurse:
Me:
Nurse:
Me: "I fuck girls."